Honey I morphed the kid
by MssChief
Summary: Henry finds himself as the victim of Emma's latest magical faux pas... will they get through it without Regina finding out? established swanqueen humor parody fic
1. Just a little detour

**Disclaimer: **I do not own OUAT nor any of it's charecters (would only be interested in Regina and Pongo anyway) No prophits whatever I repeat no prophits are in anyway made from writing this text. If anyone is still inclined to sue me let me inform you that I own nothing so please don't bother as it would be very bothersome and ultimaly embarrasing for both sides...

Triggers.. This will contain two consenting adult women in a lesbian relationship, one annoyed imp two werewolves and several other characthers and critters might appear.

**author's notes: **Well guys if you are reading this I am back! I made it to finally write something down and upload it to this wonderful community. Off cannon as always and yep, with me Henry Mills will never even get to be a pre-teen. The kid stays a kid.

On another note I am trying to upload only when I have the complete story because well the muse doesn't always cooperate and it makes feel bad to leave a story hanging (even if not at a cliff hanger..) the down side of it besides taking forever … is your lack of input on those lovely comments you grace me with.

Hope you all enjoy

1.

It was friday and Emma was driving Henry to the meeting point for his schooltrip, which he was super-excited to go, clinging to his consent form and duffelbag as if they were his only earthly possessions.

Since they still had some time Emma had decided to drop by Regina's vault to see if she could find anything that could help her finally master a simple spell, that she hadn't managed to get yet, and it was starting to get on her nerves.

Yes, she was technically forbiden to practice on her own, but it was just checking if she could find anything helpful, it was not as if she was actually considering to try out spells on her own.

"Ma, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Henry was a bit nervous specially because he was really looking forward to this fieldtrip with his friends specially Violet...

Emma dismissed him quickly as there was still plenty of time to take Henry, and she was really just looking for some quick help to solve her problem and maybe impress her wife in the process... "Kid we are just browsing through some books not casting anything. What could go wrong?"

Feeling the huge eyeroll she was getting "Oh c'mon nothing is gonna mess your trip with Violet"she sing-songed the name. Henry sighed "You know... Sometimes I have to agree with mom... you are a big child".

Emma snorted at the comment and then her eyes caught on something and before she knew it she was muttering the words below her breath without even notecing. She shrugged "Some of this crap sure is weird, huh kid? Kid?"

She turned around to empty space "Henry? Henry?" Suddenly she heard "arf!" and looked down to see a black puppy looking up at her, it seemed to sigh deeply and then start barking furiously at her.

That sprung Emma to action "kid! Oh my god kid!! I'm so sorry!" the puppy just huffed and barked "Hey I'm still your ma!!" she said to the pup "I'm sorry okay?" . She wouldnt dare to even try and reverse it! Why wasn't there a bloody undo kind of spell anyways.

She need someone who knew their stuff, she needed... She suddenly froze at the thought. Regina. How was she going to tell the former evil queen and full time momma bear that she had turned their son, her little prince... into a.. what did he look like? A terrier? A schnauzer?

She sighed "c'mon kid we gotta find a way to turn you back to normal before your mother turns me into a fireball bonfire."

…... …...

The door to the shop gave its eerie jingle, slow but decisive footsteps approached the counter, Gold knew who it was even before turning around "Sheriff! What can I..." he froze looking at the counter where a pup of some kind was sniffing around, he looked up again to Emma "I am not interested in adopting mutts"

Emma sighed "Gold I need a favor", but the imp was adament "I'm the Dark One. Not a dog sitter!" Emma huffed exasperated "well good because he is not a dog either!" Gold looked back to the dog currently sitting on the counter. "Sheriff Swann.. what did you do this time? And to whom I may add?" Emma resented that "Hey why do you instantly assume its my fault?"

Gold smiled "Because deary I don't see the Queen anywhere.." she blushed as he carried out his deductive analisis "And for a spell as simple as this... Why come to me? What could be worse than a deal with the Dark One?" He chuckled towards the end of the sentence, his former apprentice still managed to make him proud, even if it was just simple things like keeping her own wife on her toes. Maybe only in this aspect but... Cora's daughther alright...Well when the titilati..er infuriating woman had a heart anyway.

Emma closed her eyes and just pointed to the pup "Henry". Gold's eyes went wide "You turned my grandson into..." and a sudden thought struck him "Oh deary... turning the Dark Queen's child into an animal.." He even sounded simpathetic "Hey she's not dark anymore!" The imp chuckled inwardly "And yet here you are.." he tried to sound grave, but this was hilarious!

He knew fully well Regina would never harm her precious little family but, well, she did have a temper that would make generations of Mill's women proud.

"Well sheriff I am affraid I cannot help" _Where, oh where_, would be the fun on that..

"Simple as it appears to be, reversing a spell that is designed to wear off on its own is always ill advised"

Emma and the pup looked crestfallen as Gold continued "I would assume it will wear off before monday. Until then its possible young Henry might find himself exploring his more... canine side. but it will go away. 'Till then.. best of luck sheriff"

It did them both good: a little punishment for the sheriff and an oportunity for his rather talented grandson to learn the effects of being under a spell.

…... …...

Hopeless, Emma and puppy Henry entered, the thankfully empty, dinner. "Hi Ems.. Henry!!!" Ruby rushed to them as Granny emerged from the kitchen "what ruckus is this Ru.." and she stood shell shocked looking at the pup.

"Hey! How did you know it was him? Not even Gold guessed that!" Emma was amazed. Ruby shrugged "What can I say... Our sense of smell is different. Its easy..." she then swated Emma's shoulder "what the hell were you thinking taking him to Gold?!" Emma rubbed her shoulder "Ouch! Dammit Ruby!"

She sighed "He is Gold's grandson. Besides who am I going to turn to? Blue? I mean besides lecturing me, what would be the point? Any type of magic Regina does is way more powerful than Blue's. Anyway... Gold said it will wear off on its own"

Ruby snorted "Well 'till then what are you going to do?" Emma sighed "I don't know... Regina thinks he's already gone to camp.. maybe I can prented I found him.. name him.. what do you think of Oliver?" There was a little growl from Henry on the counter for not even getting a say in his own name.. he wanted something cool like Rex or Kaiser.

Granny bent over the counter and stared straight into Emma's eyes "Sheriff. You turned Henry into a dog, took him to Gold and now, you want to name him after an orphan" she hit Emma over the head "ARE YOU SUICIDAL?!" She pointed to the hot chocolate Ruby had gotten her "That is on the house. Might be your last drink...Personally I would have chosen something stronger". She then hit Ruby in the head "Hey! What was that for?! I didn't do anything", "Nope, but you will end up helping her come up with some ludicrous plan to try and fool Regina" she turned and scratched puppy Henry's ears "I will not be an acessory to whatever these two get up to. Keep me posted kid" and she went back to the kitchen.

Emma looked desperaterly at Ruby "Well? Do you have any ideas?" Ruby just smilled "as a matter of fact I do. But we need to enlist your father" and she proceeded to tell them her plan.


	2. Plan in action

**All Disclamers in the first chapter **

2.

Emma got home "Gina you here?" She shouted "Yes dear in the office. Just finishing up. "How was Henry? He hasn't texted yet" Emma was glad she did not have to face her at that moment "Oh fine... You know kids don't think its cool to text their parents in front of their friends" she heard her wife sigh resigned, as she had promised Henry not to check on him given that he keep her posted the appropriate number of times (which was quite an ordeal to negotiate)

Emma looked at her wristwatch any moment now...

…... …...

Charming was outside the door with a bag and Henry in his arms trying to gather courage to ring the bell. This was just great... thank gods Snow was at a bird conservation convention so he only had to lie to Regina.

He hated lying or ommiting anything from his wife. And he hated trying to trick Regina...specially now that they were family... He looked into the eyes of his grandson and took a deep breath finally ringing the doorbell.

Emma leaped to answer the door with a sitcom-like "Daad? What are you doing here?" her eyes however said _hey-you're-late _to which Charming managed to morse code blink y_ou-got-me-into-this and i'm-still-your-father!_ Neither saw Regina enter the foyer and stare wide eyed at the puppy.

Henry was the first to spot his _mommy!! _he thought excitedly which made him wag his little tail.

He pawed the air as if trying to get to her making Emma and David snap out of their eye competition.

Charming gulped and said in one full second "I sheltered Henry to a dog!" He stammered as Emma looked pale and like she wanted to slap herself on the face, but then her dad tried again "I mean... we are fully booked at the shelter and Henry had volunteered to take one of our new additions home for the weekend while we finalize some adoptions and make room..."

Emma tried to intervine quickly "Oh yeah Henry mentioned and I forgot!" Regina was still staring at the dog without saying a word. Emma and Charming were starting to sweat... what if Regina was allergic? Emma thought suddenly, but it made no sense she loved Pongo.

Regina broke the silence "what's its name?" catching Charming off guard "Hen...Enzo!" Almost Charming... almost... thank gods he saw that documentary on fast cars.

"But I didn't know it was his weekend away maybe its best I take him...", "Nonsense" Regina interjected as she took the pup into her arms "If Henry agreed to do it. Of course we will oblige. I will deal with him later... He did apparently mentioned it to your daughther anyway"

Charming smiled "okay then.. here is some stuff for the little guy" he handed Emma a kibble bag and a fluffy pad to serve as bedding.

Regina put Enzo down so he could sniff around while they said their goodbyes to Charming who almost ran out the door for his life.

Emma turned, as she closed the door, trying to make small talk "Boy they sure must be running out of names.. I mean Enzo right?"

Regina sat on the couch to watch the little pup explore his surroundings adding simply "Its italian" Is there anything this woman does not know? Well hopefully apart from their current situation...

"Soo.. did Henry ever ask for a dog?" Regina's just let out a soft sad smile "No. I mean... would you ask the Evil Queen for a dog?"

As Emma tried to sit on the couch beside her, Regina stood up, hugging herself out of habit and grabbing an album hidden at the top of a shelf "He was too young before that damned book destroyed our relationship... and I guess knights, saviours and witches are more interesting and leave little room for pets"

She returned to sit by Emma's side "we did however have an aquarium and a bunny, but I doubt he even remembers, it was too long ago" she flipped the album open to show the younger woman.

Emma was stunned beyond belief "Regina is that this house?!" Some features were definitely recognisable but the whole living room was a mess! Toys, assorted bit and pieces ,the aquarium in the corner just peeking from the office.

But most amazing of all, slightly off centre of the frame there stood a smiling toddler on the lap of a smiling Regina dressed as Emma had never seen her before.

Regina huffed, "May I remind you Miss Swann, I was a single mother with no help? Of course the house was a mess! I had work and my son" she traced fondly the picture "And I was still experimenting with this world's fashion.. not that I ever left the house in that state or wearing those earrings"

Emma was mesmerized by the images "Its amazing! You look stunning" Regina snorted "what, in that?" She sighed "Its all I have to prove to myself that we once were happy... that I didn't dream it. Then came the bloody book and disney... I got time to put the house in order to make it look like those parenting magazines, tried to be a wholesome mother.. but he wanted nothing to do with me anymore, so I focused more and more on work". She cleared a stray tear as Emma held her hand "Baby he knows better now. He never really stopped loving you"

Regina just leaned on her wife's shoulder "I know, now I know. But back then it only seemed to confirm that my mother had been right all along in all her lessons" Emma tried lighten the mood "I suppose your mother never gave you a puppy either" she froze at Regina's response "Oh she did... But I assure you dear, you really don't want to know how that played out."

Seeing the guilt stricken look on Emma's face she gave her a peck on the cheek "Its alright now. Lets not dwell in the past... I will heat up dinner."

Reminding Emma of their previous plan to enjoy the house by themselves...well the puppy would eventually sleep, right? She picked up the album again and flipped throught some more pages feeling her heart swell.

After browsing the whole album, she got up and turned to the pup and saying in a low voice "C'mon kid.." and they both entered the kitchen feeling the divine smell of heated up lasagna.

Regina felt familiar arms wrap around her. "Oh my...Sheriff.!" she said with a flirty grin "Madam mayor" Emma replied nuzzling her neck.

"Thank you for showing me that album" she knew that to be so hidden out of sight yet so accessible to reach, it had to be one of Regina's most prized possessions.

Regina laughed "took me forever to learn how to properly set the timer" before Emma could stop herself a small "oh" came out.

Regina turned, still in her arms "Well how do you think I could take pictures of us both?" Emma tried to look anywhere but the beautiful brunnette only looking when she received a swat on her arm "Ouch" Regina looked at her intently "what did you think? That I had someone play daddy? Or a lousy sitter taking care of my son?"

Emma was bright red "well er.. I a.. Graham could have.." another swat and Regina turned her back to Emma "My indiscretions... only started after the bloody book.. Before I didn't need anyone else! I Had Henry and I was sure Daniel had been my true love"

She huffed but she felt the hug grow tighther at the _was_.

Emma almost slapped herself, of course! Those were the only pictures at weren't perfectly aligned in the frame!!!! She may be the sheriff but she sure wasn't Sherlock... well at least when she was emotionally invested.

"Gina, I'm sorry.. I just.." but before she could continue Enzo was pawing at their feet sensing the stress _«mom's no fight!!»_ he whined until Regina picked him up.

Enzo sniffed the air around, from his new point of view, eyes and nose zeroying straight into the lasagna.

"Well someone is hungry... we better feed him" said Emma reaching for the kibble bag in a silent eye conversation with Henry's appawled expression _"No way!",_"_ Sorry kid what can we do?"_ ,_"Not eating that!" _giving a dog version of a Regina like huff. The exchange was interrupted by Regina's voice "Oh leave that nonsense Emma. Back in the Forest all they had were leftover scraps and did them just fine!" Emma and Henry both felt relived "I guess you are right.. Besides it will surely be needed at the shelter"

While puppy Henry scarfed down his precious pieces of lasagna fully immersed in his food, Regina had received a text from Henry [technically Ruby who kept Henry's phone] saying all was well to which she replied smiling. Dinner was certainly heating up with the brunnette temptress teasing Emma.


	3. It's a dog world

**All Disclaimers still on the first chapter**

3.

Emma found a place for Enzo's bed by the living room since it was warmer. They both bid goodnight to the puppy and walked upstairs to their room. Emma following behind entranced by the seductive sway of the mayor's heavenly sinful hips. She was hoping that maybe their long wild night might still stand..

Once in the bedroom Regina dictated the slow tortuously sweet pace which was driving Emma up the walls.

…...

Meanwhile little Enzo huffed and puffed like a miniature wolf.. there was no way he could sleep. He looked around the house seemingly so strange from this new point of view, kind of scary even... An idea came to him, maybe if he got to his room he would feel better. But there was the not so small matter of the stairs.

Determined to try, he approached this new Everest deciding that he was not going to be deterred by a stupid staircase. It took five tries to successfully climb the first step, developing the wiggly-butt technique he jumped swaying his butt with all his might in order to get one of his back paws on the step and roll over. By the fifth step he had successfully mastered his effective climbing technique.

He felt the conqueror of the world when at last he climbed over the final step. He felt dizzy just looking down. He quickly trotted of to his bedroom, but much to his chagrin he did not feel better.

There were more smells than he remembered and the actions figures looked ominous casting their big shadows on the walls. Not a chance he could find any sleep in there. But a true hero is never truly defeated there was an obvious solution...

…...

Emma was in a trance of purple lace, purrs and promises. Regina so close yet so far from where she wanted her.. she was wet beyond belif, she even feared she would embaress herself and come undone, but now, she was about to reap the rewards from the sultry other woman who was finally going to give her... "Emma did you hear that?"

Suddenly Regina was up and covered in a silk robe before Emma could even utter a "what?". Then she heard it.. soft persistent scratiching and pawing at their door accompanied by a desperate litany of whines. She got on her elbows enough to see Regina open the door and pick up Enzo. "It probably misses his mother" Regina cooed to the furry cock-blocker-twat-swating-puppy. Emma sighed... it did was her fault.

She saw Regina bring him to bed as he licked and nuzzled trying to tell mommy of his triumph over the many dangers to get to her. Emma sighed "well it will just be a minute" as she got up to the bathroom hearing her wife amused laugh behind her.. but heck in the state she was in she had to do something.

15 minutes and a forever traumatized bidet later Emma re-entered the bedroom joining Regina and the furball curled tight against the nook of her neck.

She couldn't help but smile at the scene. It did not go unnoticed "why the big smile Sheriff Swan?" Emma looked at her wife while entering the bed and trying to gather her thoughts. "I.. I'm just enjoying the view", one perfectly regal eyebrow lift comanded _out with it._.. Emma took a deep breath "I was thinking back at those pictures.. You gave Henry a perfect life really. All I could ever wish for him when I had to... you know..."

Regina's hand quickly found hers rubbing sothing patterns with her finger, grounding Emma to the present giving her silent strengh as she continued on "I know its impossible but I kinda wish.." they were both to focused on the conversation to notice a little furry ear stand up like the sneaky periscope of the furriest u-boat.. Emma cleared her throat "I kinda wish there had been a way for me to be there too. With the both of you. That maybe we could have met earlier and been through it all toghether" Regina swallowed hard whispering "Me too my love"

Emma chuckled "I mean I suppose in the Enchanted Forest I would not stand a chance with you... With Daniel and Mal...", "and your parents trying to kill me and vice-versa" Regina interjected Enzo just nooded off to sleep, his mothers really didnt grasp the finer points of alternate realms, meant to be is meant to be period. "Well anyway, we wouldn't have Henry" Emma sighed and Regina replied "Emma whatever the realm, the three of us; we would always find each other"

Emma gasped "Did you really just quote my parents?!" Regina thouroughly embarressed just gave Emma her best full on evil queen look "I never said it and you never heard it. Understood?" Emma just smiled kissing her wife "perfectly my queen."


	4. The dog days are over

**All Disclamers in the first chapter**

4.

Enzo woke up in the morning with the urge of nature's call and quickly slid off the duvet to the ground racing towards his bathroom, forgeting one minute ,but essential detail that only dawned upon him when he saw the height of the toilet...

He couldn't even start to worry... when needs must... and he peed in the small carpet rug. He hadn't even regained his bearings from the what had just happened -boy was he going to kill his ma- when he looked back, and to his mortification, saw his mother Regina standing there.

It almost looked like she was holding a smile but it could'nt possibly be so. Her voice however drew his attention "Oh Enzo..." she picked him up "well I suppose that you are right... Your puppy pad is downstairs. But this better be a one time thing." He looked at her and his tail wagged slightly, mommy was not upset after all.. It was good.

She picked him up and before descending the stairs called to her bedroom "Miss Swan? Do not forget to clean Enzo's little..mess before coming down" earning a groan in response.

…...

The day went about without much fuss.. Puppy Henry had mourned the loss of his hability to play on his console. But soon he was prancing about and exploring their backyard,while Emma wrestled with mowing the lawn.

It was so strange... The sounds so familiar yet so different. The yard seemed bigger with loads of places to smell, sniff, and overall explore. When Emma was done they both went to the front lawn where Regina was tending to her apple tree, as it always had precedence over any other plant during her gardening"

Enzo stealthly approached, in a trance from a strange calling to that apple tree when he heard "Don't even think about it mister" coming from his mother and his ma chuckling.

A minute had not passed by when they saw Archie coming up the street with Pongo who sprinted to Regina who petted him affectionatly. That did not sit well with Henry. It was HIS mommy, those were by right HIS petting and ear scratching Pongo was getting... He puffed up his chest and marched forward to Pong barking growling and yppying letting him get a piece of his mind.

But Pongo simply sniffed him, cocked his head to the side and looked amused.. _What a strange thing... B_ut, oh well, everyone knew Emma's dificulty in chasing him around was only surpassed by her dificulty in grasping magic... This was sort of fun. The more unsettled Henry got the more Pongo would ask for Regina's attention.

Archie was asking Emma when did they got a puppy and Emma was telling the agreed spiel about Enzo and no room available at the kennel, when they heard a voice from behind them "Oh Pongo cut it out already" and turned to see Ruby.

Pongo just replied to Ruby _Oh you are no fun..._but did as he was told obeying the werewolf's dominance.

…...

It was mid evening Regina anounced she was going to do some late minute shopping for dinner Henry was due home tonight for dinner.

As soon as the door closed Emma turned to the pup "So kid? Any changes?" Henry couldn't really tell but he was suddenly getting sleepy and a fine cloud of purple smoke eveloped him and as soon at it dissapeared Henry was a kid again. They both started jumping and laughing celebrating being saved by the bell. "Ma, promise you will never even get near a magic book on your own again. Ever!", "Hey I am getting slightly better..." and one look from her son "Okay Okay I promise!"

Dinner had been great and thankfully "It was so much fun" on repeat was all that sufficed to say about Henry's trip.

With Henry tucked in bed surrendering to deep slumber, Emma and Regina were getting ready for bed.

They were about to turn out the light when Regina suddenly spoke in full evil queen mode "Miss Swan Gods know I love you, but if you ever do any kind of magic involving our son. I. Will. Bring down Hell upon you." Emma looked in surprise "But but but..how?! You knew all along?!"

Regina smiled "Do you think I wouldn't recognise my own son? In any shape or form I will always recognise him.. Now he has already paid for going along" She wouldn't let Henry know that she new he it was him on the carpet. She couldn't even imagine that conversation... She shook her head and continued "Now how you will redeem yourself... That is another question" She pecked her dumbstruck wife of the lips.

The End


End file.
